When the kids were really little, I thought......

When our first set of twins were little, like *in their car seats and cooing adorably* little, there were a lot of things I thought about regarding our future and parenting.  Most things were thought with warm sunny feelings and smiles that never ended.  Then we had 5 kids.  Still plenty of warm sunny feelings, but boy, there are a lot things I think about differently now.
Here's one-when the boys were babies I thought the people that patted my shoulder and told me to 'hang in there, it gets easier' knew what they were talking about.  Come to find out they were all delusional, crazy, and quite possibly on Prozac!  Are you kidding me?  Easier?  I can say with 100% confidence that I would take the first 2 years of our children's lives over in a nanosecond because let me just say, it does NOT get easier when the kids get older.  Sleepless nights got nothin' on me!  Sure, I suppose some things do get easier.  Like not having to pack up the whole kitchen AND bathroom for a short outing to the grocery store.  Like not having to take apart car seats and wash them every month (or 6 if I'm being honest, but those are really a pain!). Like not having to be on constant vigil listening for noises or lack thereof coming from the nursery monitor at night.  Sure, some things do get easier.  But for every one thing that does, I'm pretty sure it's replaced by two things that are NOT easier.

Like their attention span.  As a parent you pray for the day it lengthens.  I'm still waiting for my 3rd graders attention span to RE-ARRIVE, forget lengthening.  As a baby he gave plenty of things his undivided attention-for instance his pacifier, his blue blanket, Bob the Builder, peeing in the potty, looking amazingly angelic and sweet and saying things like 'Harry Popper' in the cutest way possible.  Oh yes, all those things could take his undivided attention for HOURS.  Today however, he can't focus on anything without doing all of the following first:

'Eric, you need to get this section of your homework done.  Now.'
'Ooooookaaaaaay mom, I will.'
2 minutes later
'Eric, what are you doing?'
'I need a pencil'
2 minutes later
'Eric, what are you doing now?'
'I needed a snack'
2 minutes later
 'Eric, what ARE you doing now?'
'I need to go to the bathroom'

So I then have to get up and watch him walk to the bathroom to make sure he doesn't stop in the playroom along the way.  I hear the toilet flush, hear him walking and then the sound stops.

'Eric, WHAT are you doing? Get out here now!'
"I'm coming, I just wanted to ask L and L what they are watching, that's it I promise'
'Hurry up Eric and get out of that room right now!'
'Can I go sharpen my pencil?'
'Hurry up'
2 minutes later
'Mom, I'm tired, can I take a break?'

And that is where my well worn patience breaks.  Shattered, the calm reserve has been tapped out.  And I now resort to yelling like a half crazed lunatic.  Yeah, that's something I didn't think about when they were little.

I think I need that Prozac now.  Then I can tell some poor new mom 'hang in there, it gets better' and not feel bad about lying through my TEETH!

And when the kids were really little, I thought a lot of other silly things..........back before I knew much about this cute little stink pot!