2 years ago today, we were in California. I was standing in the bathroom of our hotel drying my hair when my cell phone rang. It was my mom. She had some very sad news to share. Scott had been killed while serving in Afghanistan. It took minutes to sink in....how could this happen, what do you mean, how did he die....and why? I don't think it really hit me until we got home, until I talked to his mom in a tear filled conversation that left us all so very sad and still asking why. For weeks I couldn't drive the car and listen to the radio without breaking into tears. Our newspaper ran several articles about him.
Scott was a husband, a father to a newborn baby girl (she was born in October, just 4 months before Scott died), a boy I grew up with that lived 2 houses away, a boy I had a middle school crush on...I would watch him out the living room windows....and he was so good to me. Sweet through and through he stood up for me when neighborhood girls gave me a hard time and countless other times. Here we are at my birthday party in 1987.
We attended his wedding, his mom and sister attended ours...Scott would have been there too but he was already knee deep in the life he loved. The life of an Air Force PJ.
He was on a middle of the night mission when the helicopter he was in crashed. Scott readied his crew for a crash landing and ended up giving his life as the helicpoter came to its final resting place in the desert of Afghanistan. He was a hero for many, a hero for any American that believes in the sanctity of our country...the sanctity that our military fights for.
A year ago Bill and I were fortunate to be able to go and visit Scott's mom and sister in Washington D.C. We were both so glad to see them but knew an emotional day lay ahead. The first place we wanted to go but didn't want to go, yet had to go, was to visit Scott. He was laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetary. We were so sad, so emotional and yet so glad that Scott's mom and sister were with us...and they were comforting US. The very last thing they should have had to do and yet they did, they tried to make us feel better.
It's just so overwhelming when you see Arlington. The rows and rows of soldiers laid to rest. Especially in the section where Scott is, so many young men and women who died well before they should have. The terrible irony.....one row away Major Doug Zembiec was also laid to rest just 3 months later. He, too, graduated from La Cueva High School in 1991 and left behind a wife and one year old daughter.
It felt peaceful to be next to his headstone, to talk to him, to tell him how much he is missed, to tell him how sorry I was that I hadn't done a better job of keeping up with him. And I still feel the same-sorry that I didn't do a better job of that. That he probably didn't know what a great guy I thought he was, how much Bill and I respected him and his military life. I have to believe that he knows all that now.
We tell our boys about him, about how so many military families have lost loved ones and why they continue to fight for our country. We hope to take them to Arlington in a few years so they can understand and to see the enormity of it all.
Please, take a moment today to remember our fallen soldiers. To remember the families that daily think about their loved one that gave their lives for all of us. To remember the children who have lost a parent and for the parent left behind that has the job of telling that child all about their dad or mom with only words and pictures to convey how brave that parent was. To remember the lives these soldiers have touched, the lives they have saved. Say a prayer for Scott, for his little girl Sophia, that she may know how important Scott was to so many people. And if you have the chance, reach out to a friend that you keep finding reasons not to. You're not to busy to try and they aren't too busy to appreciate it.
We love you and miss you Scott. Thank you for your sacrifice-we will always remember it, we will always remember you. And to Wendy and Rose, the only blessing in this terrible reality is that we consider you family-we say your names often and think of you even more often then that.
7 comments:
A real tear jerker and a wonderful tribute to who I've heard was a great, great guy! Thank you for sharing a little of him and his family with us. You're so right--we need to appreciate and remember our heroes on a daily basis!
God Bless you Scott!
You are making me cry today. That was beautiful.
such a sad post. tug did one on both doug and scott a couple yrs ago. it is so easy to take the military for granted. i am really happy that we are now living near an army and air force base so the kids can see people in uniform and know that the military isnt some obscure thing~they see soldiers and airmen daily and know the military is made up of actual people.
http://tugandregina.blogspot.com/2007/11/rest-in-peace-scott-duffman-doug.html
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I was fortunate enough to be forwarded your BLOG today! It was beautifully written! I think it is unfortunate how quickly people forget...life in the U.S.A is too far from the hardships of the "rest" of the world. It takes people like YOU, raising their children NOT to forget...and people like YOU who write about it and REMIND others of the SOURCES of our freedom, our PRECIOUS freedom! Life IS precious...and Scott lived it, and did what he LOVED! It was what DEFINED him...and he would be PROUD!!!
Cari,
I knew Scott in high school. I remember many crazy and funny conversations I had with him. When I heard he died (my Mom called me to tell me a LCHS graduate died in the war) I was so terribly sad. I looked through my yearbook to find a passage he wrote in my yearbook and at the time I probably never took a second look at it but now I realize how special it is that I have it. He wrote, " Thanks for all the fun in Geometry. I've had a blast! You're beautiful. Have a great summer! Good luck in the future!" What an honor to have known him....I hope that his daughter will someday know how many people appreciate his service to our country. Thanks for posting his story.
tears are falling...what a beautiful tribute.
Our shared friend, Katie Terrell, sent this to me. I adored Scott in high school because he was so sweet. We weren't close friends but always said hi, chatted on the bus, goofed off at wrestling tournaments. He was just a joy.
I was watching George Stephanopolis one Sunday when they showed the names of the fallen that week. I could not believe I saw Scott's name. When I later learned he has a daughter that was born the same month my son was born, I felt so much grief for his wife, whom I've never met.
I still think of him, in part because he is the face of the war in Afghanistan for me. Any news I hear about Afghanistan/Pakistan, Scott's face always flashes.
He was a good soul and in the end, the lives he touched will be more than he or his family will ever know.
Thanks for sharing your memories with us.
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