I feel a bit wishy-washy.

There were days that I felt I could endure for weeks more.  But then there were the days that I prayed would end quickly, days I pushed my kids into bed earlier than they needed to be, days that I just wanted them to leave.me.alone.  This time of year always brings about contrasting feelings and this year is no exception with ALL the kids going to school. 

Yes, I can't wait for school to start. 
No, I'm not looking forward to soccer practice for 4 different teams every week. 
Yes, it will be fun to make new friends on new teams and see the kids play a game they enjoy.
No, I really can't quite see how we are going to fit music lessons, scouting, religious ed and soccer all into the same week, for weeks on end. 
Yes, I am going to be so very proud of all their amazing accomplishments.
No, I'm not really looking forward to the new homework load that will come with 2 middle schoolers.  Yes, I'm sure they will thrive and manage and get through it. 
No, I'm pretty sure I will not be sane by Christmas time. 
Yes, subbing within the school district has me a bit nervous and hopeful that I'll get jobs at the elementary school E, L and L go to. 
No, it won't bother me a bit to be surrounded by silence. 
Yes, that feeling might only last a week. 
No, I won't be upset if it lasts longer.

Yes, they are growing up and I am faced with a whole new realm of possibilities and opportunities. 
No, I never thought the day would come so quickly that the babies of the family would be going to kindergarten. 
Yes, they are so ready to go and they will probably not even miss me. 
No, the reality of not having a child or children with me every second of the day hasn't really hit me yet.  
Yes, I'm sure it will and I'm sure I will cry, when no one is looking. 
No, I wouldn't turn back time because I know my kids are going to be and already are really awesome, wonderful people and moving forward is the only way for them to show the world what I already know.

Yes, I just cried a tear.  or two.

Good-bye life as I have known it for 11 years, hello new life.