5 years ago today

5 years ago today, I felt like a beached whale. I'm pretty sure I looked like one too. I shared those pictures on a flashback Friday post a long while back.....there will be no more posting of those beauties! After all, I stand only 5'3" tall and I was 36 weeks pregnant with our second set of twins!

I couldn't believe I had made it so far in the pregnancy-our first set of twins I delivered at 33 weeks and our singleton came at 37 &1/2 weeks. I remember every day wondering if this would be the day they would FINALLY COME OUT!! My rib cage felt like it was about to crack in half and my skin was numb to the touch where the ribs come together at the base of the sternum. Even after bouts of preterm labor at 31 weeks, the babies were happy to stay in a while longer.

We were building our new house, living in a small mobile home that sat on the property. All 5 of us crammed into a 1200 square foot living space with no laundry room......it was in the kitchen! Well, at least there was less house to keep up with as I waddled around in my huge state! I can remember hanging up all the teeny tiny outfits in the little closet Bill and I would share with them. Finally some pink hung amongst all the blue!

After the boys were all in bed, Bill left to go get a haircut, and while he was gone, guess what started? Some regular contractions!!! He got home about 9pm, we counted contractions for 30 minutes then decided to call the OB and my mom. The babies were finally ready to make their appearance. I was going to have to have a c-section since Laurel was breech so we knew ahead of time what to expect. We rolled up to the hospital and things got underway!
At 1:12 and 1:13 am on April the 9th, our sweet babies, the last we would have, made their beautiful appearance. Laurel was born with pneumonia and was sent to the NICU but was stable and little Luke was just a little bundle of cuteness. He weighed in a 5lbs 4oz and she weighed in at 6lbs 4oz!!

After that, things started to fall apart. Every year at this time I have to go back and remember it all. The scariness is a part of their birth story and as much as I pray you never have to say the words "I could have died', but if you ever do, it becomes an integral part of who you are. A piece of history that you think about over and over. The what ifs and how comes and the prayers that are prayed. Without recounting every gory detail, after I was taken back to my room, after staying in recovery for several hours with blood pressure issues, I started to feel really bad. I couldn't find the nurse call button and Bill was asleep. God sent an angel at that moment when my nurse just happened to check in on me 30 minutes earlier than she should have. She found me unable to respond coherently, nearly green and with a very very low blood pressure. I had bled out internally and was going south rapidly.

I woke up in ICU and stayed there for a day while I recovered from surgery #2 and a 4 unit blood transfusion. My body started to go into D.I.C. which stands for a lot of big words that mean the liver throws many small clots, caused by excessive blood loss and rapid replacement. Going into DIC is a bad thing when many other organs can be involved. Thankfully that didn't happen. It was only after I had recovered enough that a nurse told us that DIC is known by nurses as 'Death Is Coming'. Gee, I'm so glad they shared that with me AFTER!! So it was a scary time for sure-and I once again looked and felt like a beached whale with all the fluids they had pumped into me. I couldn't bend my fingers, my eyes were super swollen, as was my face. Not pretty, but ALIVE!!

So one problem solved, and then after getting home with Luke 5 days later and Laurel 7 days later, problem number 2 reared it's ugly head. I ended up back in the ER just one day after bringing Laurel home with severe pain every time I took a breath. This time? Pulmonary embolisms in both lungs. Sheesh! More hospital stays, more meds, talk of 'retrieving clots' when they thought I had one free floating in my abdomen. I mean really, I can gloss over it all now, but it was serious business when it was all going down. And Bill bore the brunt of it. He had 5 kids to juggle, 2 of which were newborns that he fed at night all by himself (I was so very impressed with him!), plus me in the hospital to contend with. Family of course came through like champions and got us through it, but I know how scary it all was for him, even though he doesn't talk about it much anymore. If anything, just on Luke and Laurel's birthday.

So today I think about all that transpired at their birth. The joy, the fear, the uncertainty, the reality of it all, the beauty of prayers answered and competent medical professionals who cared for me. The knowledge that had the nurse checked on me when she should have, I may not be here today. And tomorrow? It's all about the sweet little people who graced our lives that day, who make us smile and laugh, who will turn 5 wonderful years old and who remind us what a journey life is.......twists, turns and all that happens in between.