I now pause for a reality check

Now, for those of you that have travelled with children, you know that there's a lot I'm not tellin' while on this big adventure.  Oh yes, there's PLENTY that I have left out.  Til' now.
 
-For every one photo op we take advantage of, at least 2 out of 5 of the kids roll their eyes and act like it's the MOST embarrassing thing ever and biggest waste of their time.  Whatever kids, SMILE, and say CHEESE! Usually we have to try it seceral times.....there are a lot of eyes that need to be open at the same time.  If you know me, you know that we take LOTS of pictures!

-For some reason, fluids move through our kids at lightening fast speed and I swear they have to pee like every 4 feet.  And with 5 kids, it's pretty much like someone needing to pee every 2 feet.  Not to mention the workings of 5 children's digestive tracks.  We're pretty much in the bathroom all the time.

-Laurel threw a holy cow fit the other night about wanting something the older boys had been privileged with -a slushy- and because she was SOOO terrible about it there was no way we were going to let her brother give her 'just a sip' (funny how sweet siblings can be when they think we, as parents, are being unfair).  She carried on for another 25 minutes. Til' she nearly hyperventilated.

-As we were walking back to the car yesterday in Boston, Luke pulled one of his now very frequent 'I'm not really listening to you and I'm going to do my own thing' and I just about lost it.  I think I one arm carried him, his feet nearly dragging the whole way, to the van, threw open the door and tossed him inside and prayed the few people left in the garage didn't know the phone number to Child Protective Services.  That child screamed bloody murder like I severed his right arm from his body....OHMYGOSH.

-another 'I can't believe I'm even reliving this moment'......imagine preparing to being on the top of a double decker tour bus in NYC for a 90 minute nighttime scenic tour.  First, you take your child to the bathroom ahead of time, knowing that since you are on the night tour, there is no getting off the bus.  Now, you have at least 30-40 minutes left in the tour when said child looks at you with panic stricken eyes and you know what that means.  The only solution?  Down the water in your water bottle, have your husband casually block the child in his seat so he can then pee in the water bottle and no one else knows what just happened.  Except you, your child and your husband.  Have your husband take a picture for posterity.  You definitely won't want to forget this moment.

Then be casual, smile as you act like you should be holding that bottle and snickering hysterically, so as to not call more attention to yourself than need be.  Mark it down in your book of 'we'll never forget this' moments, and be glad you'll never see any of the other bus patrons again!  Be sure to apologize to blog readers and friends for the TMI tidbit, but ask them to remember this is a blog meant to capture family memories!

-If one of the kids asks me to 'go into that store and see if we can buy something' I think I'm going to confiscate their debit cards and use the money myself.  It's so hard to travel and figure out how to best guide them in their spending practices.  They each have a debit card with money they have saved and money they were given from family to spend on the trip.  If 'no' hadn't been the knee jerk response thus far, they probably would have spent it all in the first week!  Rest assured, they have ALL bought many treasures already.

-the boys-aww heck, Laurel too-have taken to almost body checking one another when they are irritated with each other.  I mean, this kind of stuff is NOT okay in our family and I'm like 'why?  why now have you decided to take up this terrible behavior?'

-despite having a 15 passenger van, yes, 15 PASSENGER, converted to seat 12, and of those 12 seats, only 8 seats are presently in the van-we cannot find a seating solution that will keep them out of trouble with one another.  They seem to develop arms of rubber that can stretch to amazing lengths and reach what to a normal person would seem utterly impossible.  But if it's to bug a sibling, then it's no problem.

-our kids can't tolerate each other singing out loud.  Nope, as soon as someone sings, the others chime in with 'will you STOP singing'.  5 minutes later, the same child that was just telling another child to stop singing is now belting out their favorite tune and is wildly disappointed when the other 4 yell 'STOP singing'.  The Osmond's we are not.

-I think I have a permanent muscle pull in my neck from having to crane around my seat to verbally break up the trouble makers in the back seats.

-If I eat any more Taco Bell I just might puke.

-the 9 year old thinks he should get a stroller.  He's pretty vocal in that opinion too.  Especially when we're among a group of people that can hear him and therefore totally embarrass me that I have to even explain to him WHY a 9 year old shouldn't be riding in a stroller.  It's bad enough we got them for the 6 year olds (truth be told they have been life savers, there's no way L and L would have made it so far without them!)

-the van, until this afternoon when it got its first really good cleaning, looked like a football team travelled in it.  Books, papers, sand, crumbs, ice chests, all the 'junk' they need to have to entertain themselves with.  That's even with them utilizing the trash can we have in the van and the super nifty seat pockets my mom made for each of their seats.  There are days I look back and just have to close my eyes and go to my happy place......wait, where is that again?


There will be mnore of these moments, sad to say.  I'm sure I'll tell you about them later. Maybe.  I need to go do laundry.  The washer is begging for a break.  Some things never change, no matter where we go as a family!