Sunday, May 2, 2010

Things I cannot control

I cannot control:

His Will

My desire TO control His will

The overwhelming fear that is creeping in more steadily as her surgery gets nearer

My mom's pain and helplessness

The pain and helplessness I feel KNOWING she is in pain

The mental games that repeat in my head

That for every positive point, there is at least one to negate it

My tears

My fears

My dad's tears

My mom's fears

My kids questions

The words I fear he'll say when he talks to us after her surgery

The questions

That when cancer is mentioned I can't think positively

Thinking about what if

Cancer-I cannot control the possibility that my mom might have cancer.

4 comments:

Robin said...

Here's what you can control: Choosing to trust God no matter what. I'm praying for you and your mom.

Mamato3 said...

All of our thoughts and prayers for all of you --you are right, you cannot control His will or much about this situation. But as Robin said, you can control how you try and get through this. I pray that you will find peace and comfort in knowing that God has your mom in His healing hands and whatever lies in store for her, He will provide the means by which all of you will be able to support and help each other. Peace to all of you from the Baldwin family!

The Wades said...

I cannot say it better than Robin and Christine. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Love you guys.

Anne said...

Been thinking of you all this weekend. Know that we are praying for the best news and outcome.
-A big long-distance {hug}